The Nomenclature of Home Renovation
(thanks to elitist design magazines that read like a thesaurus):

1. Restoration = Remodel/Renovate
2. Sun Control Device = window treatments, which used to be just plain old curtains, for cryin' out loud!
3. Mid-Century = 1950
4. Lifestyle Villa = house/casa (mi lifestyle villa es su lifestyle villa!)
5. Approach = driveway
6. Antechamber = foyer
7. Seamless Production = the ability of your sheetrocker to get along you, the General Contractor, to get the friggin' job done without any hassles
8. Vicinage = neighborhood
9. Utility Room = Mud Room
10. Sleeping Chamber = bedroom
11. Solarium = any old sun-filled room
12. Flow = the Garanimals of home decor
13. Ballustrade = porch
14. Colorant = paint

"The pale birch colorant of his mid-century lifestyle villa was accentuated sharply by the hues of granite selected for the approach, making a striking early morning view from the ballustrade of the second floor sleeping chamber."

"Buffy practiced only a minute amount of financial restraint when selecting the perfect sun control device for the solarium, knowing it would ultimately affect the antechamber-ballustrade flow."